I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
she pinky promised me she was 18
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Randomize
