The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
Randomize
