Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
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