I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
Randomize