This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
Randomize
