I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
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