i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
Randomize
