Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
you never un-have a 4some
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Randomize
