My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
How the fuck did I get small bruises all over my body?
Well you were laying on the couch naked after the girls left, staring into space, and I went over to the pool table and threw every ball as hard as I could at you from point blank range . You didn't flinch, blink, or scream for any of them. next time maybe you won't fuck my girl while I'm taking a shit
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
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