That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
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