My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
Randomize
