Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
well most of my day revolves around power hour
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
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