I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
Randomize
