You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Randomize
