i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Randomize
