okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
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