is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
Randomize
