You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
Randomize
