I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
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