he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
then he tried to convert me to islam
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
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