I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Randomize
