A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
Randomize
