so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
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