Grow some girl-balls and come out already
ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
Randomize
