So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
Dick very happy bro
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
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