His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
Randomize
