True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
Randomize
