This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
Bang-toberfest begins!!
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
Randomize
