His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
Randomize
