can you have the cops turn on the gps locator on my phone...i just woke up in a Hooters uniform and I have no idea where I am...
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
