Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
Randomize
