you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
Randomize
