Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
Randomize
