The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
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