I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
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