I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
Randomize
