Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
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