I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
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Do I have a choice?
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How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
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