ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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