and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
Woke up backwards on a recliner
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
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