Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
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