I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
Randomize
