What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
