How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Randomize
