ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Randomize
