Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
you mean i was at the winter classic?
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
Randomize
