you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
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