no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
Randomize
