oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
I am available for nakedness
Randomize
