Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
Randomize
